i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
