I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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