goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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