In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
