so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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