There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
