your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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