it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
