Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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