So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
