Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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