this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
