I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
