YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
