bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize
