I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
