return my video game
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
