It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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