It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is the high leading the old right now
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
