Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
