think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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