Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
