I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
