She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
