And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
