at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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