I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
be right there i have to get my cape
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
