When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
