I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
