I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
