Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
