Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
