dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
