Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
