I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Vodka?
Forever.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
