Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
