every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
