just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
