and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
