omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's blow job season.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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