I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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