I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
