That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
