While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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