So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
