Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
