So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
