i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
