Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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