marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
