Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
