Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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