They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
