Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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